I never even thought about God!

by Ronald Ross
(CA)

I was always a pretty decent guy and had the ability to be honest, but never thought about God. My dad was Catholic so I was baptized in a church as a baby, but that's as far as my religion went.

I worked as an ironworker for 13 years and it seemed that part of the trade was getting drunk after work, so I did, alot. In 2003 I had an accident and hurt my back, that's when pain killers became the love of my life.

Struggling alot, the addiction got worse and I ended up taking Oxycontin and eventually heroin. I moved to California to try to make a new start, but as soon as I got here, I found heroin and the struggle continued.

I ended up in jail 7 times in 4 years for petty crimes and on the 7th, I gave up. I wanted to die and couldn't find any reasons to stay alive. I was in the 1st month of a 7 month sentence and I decided to ask God to show me if He was real.

When I asked, I meant it and asked with my heart. Nothing changed at that moment, it wasn't as if an angel appeared, and showed me the way. But, things did start to change, I started to feel better and of course a bible was in the cell.

I started reading, and reading, and reading, at 1st just the crucifixion. And then whatever I could find about faith, the life of Jesus, David, Gideon, Joseph, etc. I looked for other peoples takes on these people, religion, God, etc. I was a machine, looking for answers.

One day, I was looking out the cell window and saw what looked like the sun going down (in the east). Day after day I would stare out this window trying to figure out what it was and then, I started to see images in the clouds, very strange and very hard to explain, so I thought I had lost my mind.

My mother had major mental health problems and I figured I had somehow inherited her disease. Full or anxiety and fear of spending the rest of my life in an institution, I wanted to die again.

This went on for 3 days and I didn't get much sleep but on the 4th, I woke up with a complete sense of peace and a song was playing crystal clear, like a CD, but only in my mind.

The song went like this: "I get a peaceful, easy feelin and I know you wont let me down, cause I'm all ready standin, on the ground." I knew from that moment that I was not going crazy and that God had something to do with what was happening.

Many miracles happened in the remaining 5 months of that sentence and I still see the strange signs in the sky, but today they are a huge part of my faith and I don't dwell on them as much, everytime I look up, I see God.

My life is not perfect and I was able to make a year clean but I have tripped up these past few weeks, I struggle alot and I think satan beats on me because I love Jesus so much.

I thank Him at least 100 times a day and pray all day long, we have become close and God is awesome for showing me how real He is!